Super Awesome All Natural Home Pedicure

I have very ugly feet. They're covered in calluses and are in a constant state of molting. Left untreated, they look like I ran a barefoot marathon on a cheese grater trail. Coincidentally, I'm highly critical of other people's feet. In order to maintain my credibility while snarking on random nasty feet, I've spent an incredible amount of time trying to tame my feet so they're fit for public viewing. Professional pedicures are out because I'm extremely ticklish, phobic about bacteria and fungii, lazy, and cheap. So through trial and error, I've developed a very low cost, easy, effective way to do my own pedis at home.

Step 1: The Soak

·        Mix 1/2 cup Epsom salts and 1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar into hot water in Dr. Scholl's Foot Bath Massage. Soak for about half an hour.

Step 2: The File

·        With a foot file, buff calluses and areas with peeling skin until smooth.

Repeat Steps 1 and 2, using the same water.

Step 3: The Scrub

·        Mix 2 Tbsp olive oil, 2 Tbsp sea salt, and 10 drops peppermint oil to make a scrub.

·        Move to tub, because this step is kind of messy.

·        Massage scrub into feet, spending about 5 minutes on each foot.

·        Rinse and towel dry.

This pedi is awesome because it doesn't involve any dangerous blades or chemicals but is still very effective at removing calluses and dead skin. The scrub will keep your feet soft and supple. And you can do it while surfing the net or watching tv in your pajamas! What's better than that? I do this once a week as part of my self-care regimen and my feet always look and feel fabulous. Another bonus: start-up supplies will cost about as much as a pedi in a nice salon, and then you'll be banking some major savings. You're welcome.