I stink!

And some of my stuff stinks, too. How did this happen? Biology! I’ve been battling the stink since I was a teenager.

I’ve spent years testing out different antiperspirants and deoderants, and they’ve all neutralized the stink, but I started to worry about what was in them. Does aluminum cause cancer or alzheimers? Do I really want to wait for definitive research results? I also noticed that I really had to scrub my armpits to completely remove their residue in the shower, which was disconcerting. So my quest to find a better way of combatting the stink moved to a whole new level.

After much searching, I found my answer on Make-Up Alley: Baking soda! Many of the reviewers there claimed it was as effective as deodorant/antiperspirant, but without all the potentially toxic chemicals. For those who found using baking soda alone to be too harsh, they mixed it with corn starch to eliminate skin irritation. While I was skeptical about throwing out my deodorant, I thought I’d give it a try. I poured some baking soda into a small Tupperware container and after showering, dusted a pinch around each pit area and went about my day. Since I was more than a little worried that it wouldn’t work, I informed my colleagues of my experiment and they promised to apprise me should I smell less than fresh. I went through the entire work day and evening and my pits remained odorless! And there was no residue on my clothing, either. A true miracle.

Since I converted to using baking soda as deodorant, I also began using it to manage other stinky problems. The Make-Up Alley reviewers had a large variety of uses for baking soda, and these are the ones that I swear by: I dust my shoes and orthotics with baking soda to completely remove the funky foot smell, put half a cup in each laundry load for fresh clothing and linens while preventing the mildew smell in the washer, and throw some into the litter box when the pee smell starts drifting into other areas of the house. Another awesome use for baking soda: exfoliation. I mix it with apple cider vinegar and use it as a scrub to exfoliate my face. It’s amazing at cleaning out pores and removing dead skin.  

Super Awesome All Natural Home Pedicure

I have very ugly feet. They're covered in calluses and are in a constant state of molting. Left untreated, they look like I ran a barefoot marathon on a cheese grater trail. Coincidentally, I'm highly critical of other people's feet. In order to maintain my credibility while snarking on random nasty feet, I've spent an incredible amount of time trying to tame my feet so they're fit for public viewing. Professional pedicures are out because I'm extremely ticklish, phobic about bacteria and fungii, lazy, and cheap. So through trial and error, I've developed a very low cost, easy, effective way to do my own pedis at home.

Step 1: The Soak

·        Mix 1/2 cup Epsom salts and 1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar into hot water in Dr. Scholl's Foot Bath Massage. Soak for about half an hour.

Step 2: The File

·        With a foot file, buff calluses and areas with peeling skin until smooth.

Repeat Steps 1 and 2, using the same water.

Step 3: The Scrub

·        Mix 2 Tbsp olive oil, 2 Tbsp sea salt, and 10 drops peppermint oil to make a scrub.

·        Move to tub, because this step is kind of messy.

·        Massage scrub into feet, spending about 5 minutes on each foot.

·        Rinse and towel dry.

This pedi is awesome because it doesn't involve any dangerous blades or chemicals but is still very effective at removing calluses and dead skin. The scrub will keep your feet soft and supple. And you can do it while surfing the net or watching tv in your pajamas! What's better than that? I do this once a week as part of my self-care regimen and my feet always look and feel fabulous. Another bonus: start-up supplies will cost about as much as a pedi in a nice salon, and then you'll be banking some major savings. You're welcome.  

Confessions of a Recovering Drug Store Product Addict

Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve been obsessed with all the possibilities for improvement available at the drug store. Of course back then, the areas needing improvement were very, very different than they are now. In my teens, my entire focus was hair and make-up, with the occasional foray into nails and skin. I was constantly on the prowl for hairspray that would maintain the elevation of my three tiers of teased bangs. Clairol Frost & Tip was my go-to do-it-yourself product for highlighting my giant helmet of sausage roll curls. Wet n Wild provided my favorite frosted pink lipstick. And the Covergirl palette of blues and purples was the only option for eye shadow. It was the 80s and I was young and naïve; I never suspected that my drugstore habit would radically change over the years as I moved away from the glowy perfection of youth.

Now that I’m in my early 40s (wtf?! how did that happen?), I’ve entered areas of the drug store which I didn’t even know existed as a teen. Oh how I long for the simpler time of my youth, when I thought I’d never get old. Over the years, I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars and thrown out a dumpster’s worth of failed purchases, mostly due to impulse shopping and foolishly believing the promises made in slick advertising campaigns. Out of necessity, I expanded my beauty regimen to include holistic, department store, and internet purchases. I also realized that researching products was a great way to save money and determine whether or not products actually do what they promise. My best product research starts with finding articles written by experts that list specific ingredients that work, and then finding products containing those ingredients. Then I take my project over to Make-Up Alley or Amazon  and read reviews to find out about the effectiveness of real-life trials. It’s as simple as that. Through this method, I’ve found some Holy Grail products and saved thousands of dollars. And now I will share the fruits of my labors with the universe.